My father likes to tell stories about a certain soccer coach who gave pithy pieces of advice often applicable to life as much as to the game. 

One day the team was set to play against another school. The Brutes, as we will call them, were not really a soccer team; they usually played football and were known for—mixing the rules of the games. 

Before they went out to meat their opponents, Coach Pithy gave his final pep talk as follows:

Don’t play their game. Play our game. 

They won the game that day because they played with their strengths instead of meeting the Brutes on an unfamiliar level. 

Often we are tempted to play games that our not ours. It’s the adult version of peer pressure—trying to fold and squeeze ourselves into societal expectations that are never, ever one size fits all. 

Our college major. Our career path. Our romantic relationships. Our religion. The way we dress and speak, the things we pretend to care about. We make huge, life-altering decisions following the rules of someone else’s game. 

But the people who really win at the game of life are the ones who break the rules and live by their own soul-beat. They are the college dropouts who start wildly successful businesses. They are the authors who submit the same rejected manuscript over and over until someone else sees its value. They are the artists and musicians who start entire new genres of their craft. They are the couples who against all odds see their 50th wedding anniversary. 

They are the happy ones, the successful ones; because true success is best measured by happiness, after all. 

You are a chess master. Stop trying to play backgammon.