I get it. You love him.

He’s your whole world. You don’t even know what you would do without him; him, with his confidence and successes and experience and smarts and level-headedness. You are, after all, flighty; overemotional at best, a bit naive; flawed, really, and so lucky that he loves you and takes care of you. Really, you’d crash and burn on your own. All of your accomplishments are because of him.

So he makes you cry sometimes. That’s normal; all couples fight. You don’t fight for long, because he’s right and as soon as you admit that the fight is over, you apologizing and he offering magnanimous forgiveness, as always. You’re so blessed to have married such a patient man.

And the way he helps with the children! Giving you breaks to take a bath, go to coffee with a friend. It’s so much more than you deserve. He even washes the dishes, and didn’t complain about having to find his own socks that time you were on bed rest. And he works so hard! Going off every day, 8, sometimes 10 hours, while you patter around at home with your babies, working at your hobbies and having fun playing house. He’d so much rather do that. Or maybe you work too, but of course never as hard or as long as he does.

You just aren’t that good at anything. But he lets you try.

You snapped at the children last evening, and he gave you a warning glance. You need more patience. He snapped at the children the evening before and you hurried them off to the play room; he needs more quiet after a long day at work. You’ll train them better soon. Daddy should be treated like the king he is.

You had no idea that marriage would be so lonely – so many things you mustn’t tell, mustn’t gossip. Secrets you used to share with your girlfriends that now belong to your husband. Things you want to tell him that he won’t find remotely interesting, and he is so stressed, why bother him with them?

Bring it up with him? Why? There would be no point. None of this. That niggling sense of unfairness is merely discontent. Why can’t you be more thankful? That’s right, shove it down. For your little girl’s sake, don’t rock the boat. She needs her daddy. And you love him. He’s your whole world.

You don’t know what you’d do without him.