Hello, it’s me

I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet

To go over everything

They say that time’s supposed to heal ya

But I ain’t done much healing

Hello, can you hear me

I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be

When we were younger and free

I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet

There’s such a difference between us

And a million miles

Hello, how are you?

It’s so typical of me to talk about myself I’m sorry

I hope that you’re well

Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened

It’s no secret that the both of us

Are running out of time

So hello from the other side

I must have called a thousand times

To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done

But when I call you never seem to be home

Hello from the outside

At least I can say that I’ve tried

To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart

But it don’t matter it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore

I strongly dislike this song.

There, I said it.

Let me count the ways…

1. Somebody Just Can’t Move On

Somehow, I suspect, this is supposed to be a romantic song, in the sense that Romeo and Juliette is considered romantic (even though it’s really a tragedy).

And it is romantic – in that it romanticizes fricking emotional abuse, harassment and stalking behavior.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The first problem I have with this song is that the singer clearly hasn’t moved on after “all these years” – as evidenced by her willingness to “go over everything.”Not healthy, folks! Especially given that it doesn’t tear her unsuspecting target apart anymore.

Yay for emotional stagnation?

2. Abusive Language

The problem with emotional abuse is that it’s subtle. The singer here says nothing explicitly mean. She does, however, indicate huge levels of hurt feelings on her part while simultaneously acknowledging that her target is happy and claiming that she broke his heart.

You want to know something? This dude does not need closure. If he wanted to talk he would have picked the phone up one of the thousand times she called.

This is a guilt trip. He’s supposed to feel bad that he moved on and left her hurt and sad, and to reassure her that she did nothing wrong.

Crossing a Line

But she did do something wrong, and she’s still doing it. You don’t have to call anywhere near a thousand times before you’ve crossed the line into harassment.

If this were real life instead of a pop song, this lady would have been hit with at least a no-contact order long ago.

Of course, she’d probably have kept on pestering the target anyway. Because of there’s one thing this song proves for sure, it’s that Miss Hello can’t take a hint.